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That’s what lost trust will do to a person.At any rate, it would be tough on me being around them knowing I didn’t have a chance in hell of having my baby live with me, but at least they’d not be cutting me out of her life. I was pretty sure of that much. I was also sure she’d without a doubt see me as the lesser of her two daddies.No matter what I did, I could never match up with his situation: money and mommy were his tools into the baby’s heart. Me, I had poverty, no wife, and no prospects. What was to choose? Whatever the baby would think of me would be what the two cheaters wanted her to think, no more no less. Nevertheless, I’d take what I could get for the near term; I didn’t figure I had any choice.I had no cell phone, and I didn’t even have their phone numbers if I had had one. I was going to have to visit them in person. And, there was a small problem there too; I didn’t know exactly where they lived. She’d said something about living maybe a mile and a half from Franklin’s. Perhaps when our grandma puts our clothes away,she could 'accidentally' give me some of my sisters. Obviously regularclothes at first, T-shirts and shorts that weren't too girlish, and Icould start wearing them, pretending not to realize that they weretheirs, so that they became used to me being seen in them.Although I felt like that would be a good start if possible, I quicklycame to a mental block. It would be quite a leap to jump from T-shirtsand shorts to a skirt or a dress, and putting one in my room 'bymistake' would be quite a stretch.On the other hand, maybe I didn't need to wear them at all and instead Icould pretend to be 'annoyed' whenever I found their clothes placedwithin my room. As this continued, I would eventually 'find' a dress putthere 'when she wasn't thinking', and putting on a very frustratedpersona, feigning to be at my boiling point, run out of my room wearingit, shouting angrily at her; "You've done it again! Does this look likemy clothes to you?!"That idea.
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